his due date and I was in bed asleep.
Being 9 months pregnant sucks. (So sue me).
Kyle was helping his Dad coach football and I was tired. He came home
from the game and our then golden retriever jumped on the bed. At that
exact moment my water chose to break. It was awesome. (ahem).
We bundled up our things and headed to the hospital checking in at midnight.
About 6 hours later I was ready to push out a baby.
It took 1 1/2 HOURS of pushing.
The trouble was the baby was big.
Tipping the scales JUST shy of 9 pounds.
And his head was even bigger.
98th percentile big.
HUGE.
Long story not short enough...but it took a Doctor, an Anesthesiologist
and a nurse PUSHING on my belly and one Doctor pulling on the baby
with forceps to get him out.
It was not pretty and I am pretty sure I couldn't walk or pee or sneeze for
weeks afterwards without enduring pelvic torture.
People say you forget the pain.
That is a lie.
I remember afterwards, I had (literally) a hand shaped bruise on my belly
from whomever was on the pushing end.
An imprint of a hand on my belly.
It was like a reminder of this child.
The imprint he left on my heart.
It was after MUCH pain and heartache that He finally came into
this world and our home.
When Josh was born, he healed our very broken hearts.
Hearts that had been broken for babies lost, and dreams gone.
My heart was made whole with the birth of this child.
There were new dreams, and I felt like the breath I had been holding
for two years, and one stillborn and two miscarriages and many months
of infertility later, and I could finally EXHALE.
It felt good.
I am thankful for handprints on my belly reminding me of the pain
I had to endure to bring my son into the world.
I am grateful for the healing of hearts with the birth a child that day.
18. I don't have a story for 18.
Because the stories will now be His to tell. He is at a finishing point soon
and a starting point as well. The future lies before his feet. What path
he will walk down is yet to be seen.
I hope there will much happiness, yet I hope that there will be
some sadness too. Not a lot, just a little.
So that he can learn and grow. And become the man he is meant to be.
I am sure there will some great choices and some that will make us wonder.
It is sad, and so very exciting to see this child grow.
It's hard to let him go. (so so hard)
But it is the way it is supposed to be.
I am blessed and honored to call Josh my son.
It is one of the greatest joys in my life to be his mother.
Correction: It is THE greatest joy in my life to be a mother.
I am grateful he taught me about Joy.
Happy 18th Birthday
Joshua Kyle Nielson!!!
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