MY Scar & My Crush
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So yesterday was my officially "post-op" visit
to the surgeon. That mighty wielder of scalpels,
the gifted guru of thyroids, the amazing Dr.
Sharma.
It was to RE-hear the good news I already heard
on Monday afternoon.
Fortunately, nothing had changed since Monday,
the tumor is STILL benign. And it's still gone.
(Wipe away giant bead of sweat from forehead).
I am still good to go. (Again with the
halla*freakin'*lujah.)
Dr. Sharma informed me that to make myself a stronger
and more courageous person, he would let ME remove
the steri-strips in the shower this morning.
(Alright, he said no such thing--he just told me
to pull the darn things off today and reveal
what lay underneath, let it get some air and
keep antibiotic ointment on it until Sunday.)
I was nervous. I was squeamish. I am not a lover
of blood or gore or wounds. Especially when they
are on my body.
Today, girding up my loins (whatever they are anyway)
I stepped into the shower and let the water do its
magic.
After 5 minutes of soaking and pulling and soaking
and pulling, my neck was free for the first time
in 9 days.
I was afraid to look.
I went to my room (since the bathroom mirror was all
steamed up)and in case I fainted, the bed would be
close by. I figured I could somehow rotate my fall
(all while in the midst of a faint) and land on the
bed! (What was I thinking?)
It seemed like good logic at the time. I may have
some Lortab or general anesthesia left in my brain
cells, somehow distorting my thinking abilities.
I looked and immediately fell in love.
With my Doctor, or rather, with my Doctors hands.
Seriously people!
The first thing I did was call Kyle and ask
his permission to have a crush on
the surgeon for 24 hours. (The guys hands at least).
Kyle gave his OK. I exclaimed that the scar looked
THAT GOOD!! (Don't get me wrong, there is something
there--but it looks easily 1000 times better *AND
ONLY 9 DAYS OUT* than I EVER would have imagined.)
In 6 months, I'm pretty sure people will be signing
me up to be a neck model.
Well, maybe not, but I'll be ready if they do!
So there, in a nutshell, is the story of my crush and
my scar. I wish I knew 10 people I could refer to the
good Doctor JUST so we could all drool over
how great our scars looked when he was done with us.
But alas, for now, I drool alone.
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My Drainage
**************************************
For some strange reason, though not so strange to me,
EVERYTHING is making me cry.
For TWO SOLID months, through dying and death, and
possible cancer scares and ultrasounds, biopsies,
Dr. visits and surgeries, I have pushed and plowed
onward.
The fewest of tears were shed. I felt like I was
holding EVERYTHING inside....that is, until Monday.
And then after hearing the news, it's like a faucet
has been turned on somewhere deep inside my soul
(understandable of course) and I am draining.
Every ounce of every heart ache, sadness, worry,
fear and angst is coming out through my eyes (and nose).
I watched movies and cried. Action, adventure,
Indiana Jones type of movies. Yup, and cried.
I saw commercials, simple TV ads, again with the
tears.
My kids fought, I cried.
My kids wanted to go on vacation. I cried.
They wanted to stay home. I cried.
It snowed. Lots of tears. (Come to think of it
THOSE tears may be because of the actual snow
and nothing else at all).
I read a book...and well, cried.
People brought more dinners, and I, of course,
cried.
I told my husband about my crying and cried some
more because I was already crying.
I took a shower and cried.
I sat on the toilet (with no intention of using
it whatsoever-lid down, clothes on)
and cried some more.
Body shaking, soul wrenching, tear drenching sobs.
So I am give you fair warning, IF you see me
and I start with the tears, please don't be offended.
Just hand me a kleenex and give me a knowing look.
You've done nothing wrong.
My body is just expelling A LOT of pent up emotion.
Two months is a long time to "be strong".
Draining...it feels good. Really, really good.
*********************************************
$20 Cash
********************************************
After being given the "go ahead" to resume my life
yesterday (man does it feel good to leave my house,
and drive and run errands--oh the little things!)
I went ahead and ran 2 hours of errands today.
I got more than a few stares at my scar (that I
am certain looks super fabulous, but it could
be a little freaky for other people who don't
quite understand the magic of Dr. Sharma and what
I've been through).
What do they know anyway? I look fabulous!
I called Kyle and told him I am paying ANYONE
who dares ask (none of you or your relatives count)
what it is, or why I have it.
Everyone would look/stare/gawk and then look away
quickly when I met their eyes.
I thought I would be embarrassed have people looking,
instead I am actually HIGHLY amused!
The checker at Costco was the best, she kept scanning,
then looking, scanning, taking another peek, scanning,
look, scan, look. I just stood there trying not
to convulse into a full body laugh.
So the first person to not only stare, but to ask,
gets the $20! (Sam Johnson you don't count if
you're reading this!)
And that, my friends, is the update on my life
for today!
A Scar, A Crush, Some Draining and a $20 Cash Prize.
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