what with it being my first blog of the "NEW YEAR" and all,
i think i will come right out with my heart on my sleeve.
as any of my "fans" know (thanks to the 3 or 4 of you that ACTUALLY read my
blog!) i am an "odiater" of snow (you must see a past blog entry for this to make sense)
alas, i am ALSO an "odiater" of New Years Eve/Day celebration as well (you only have
to go back ONE blog entry to read about this).
the whole NEW YEARS thing makes me remember how much stuff i
didn't accomplish during the past year, and even though
it is now 2009 TODAY, all the same crap that was wrong
in my life YESTERDAY, well, guess what? STILL HERE TODAY!
well, my first task of the NEW YEAR was to take down my "Christmas Crap"--
you ALL know you have it! and in my house it only lasts a few hours (at most)
into the NEW YEAR!
another thing you may, or may not know, about me is that i am a PICTURE FREAK!
I love taking them, displaying them, taking some more...etc. My camera is in constant
motion around my children and i am forever displaying a new picture of them in
some candid (i prefer these!) or posed shot in the various frames around my home.
so, after the Christmas Crap was lovingly tucked away in the basement waiting with
baited breath for another year when it will be unpacked...
....I was putting back all my frames and photos and my children (forever frozen in time)
onto the newly NAKED furniture. (it does look SO empty that first day or two)
I decided to add a few new PHOTOS to the frames, and in so doing unearthed
even OLDER shots of my growing children ("in perpetual motion, they are!" as Yoda
would say!)
well i have an ODD HABIT of what i call "photo stacking". In simple terms this means
i always leave 3 or 4 older photo's of my kids in the frame and just add the latest version
of them on top, slap the glass back on and WAH LAH! we have the child in a new pose
smiling sweetly (or NOT!) back at us!
well, this year, as i replaced older SHOTS with newer ones, i unearthed pictures of
Josh from, like 10 years ago. and Grace from when she was 3, and Lizzie from when
she was 2 or so and Bompie from when she was a new babe in Josh's arms...
that DID IT! i completely lost it....
HOW HOW HOW? do you let your kids grow up? i know there are probably some moms
who don't feel like i do and that is OKAY! but boy oh boy, it sure tugged at my heart
strings for a LONG LONG moment today.
to sit, and think, and REMEMBER ...
how much time, how many years, how many moments and memories had gone by.
SO many...including good ones, bad ones, and ones in between.
the wonderful life that i have thus far shared with these WONDERFUL gifts I call
my CHILDREN.
frozen in time, FOREVER in a snapshot "stacked" inside the numerous frames inside
this place we call HOME.
and the emotions that washed through my "mother soul" were REAL and overwhelming.
my "babies" are growing up SO FAST!
it is kind of strange how as members of the church we measure the passage of time by
"where" our kids are (and those that know this culture will understand)...
"she is in Young Womens now" "he just got ordained a Priest" "she started Nursery today"
"ahhh! look how cute all those Sunbeams are" "he's leaving on his mission next week"
ANY of those phrases and you will know EXACTLY what age your child is...right?
well, mine are SWIFTLY passing ALL the "little" ones and headed to the "big" ones...
and TODAY....
it is making me a little sad....
can we freeze them for just a moment or two?
probably not, until then, my advice is to take LOTS of photos and look at them when your
heart is strong and REMEMBER! with fondness and love and happiness ALL that they (the
kids) have brought to your life, your home, your love and your heart.
and THEN, give them an extra hug.
so excuse me today while a shed a tear or two and then blow the snot from my nose...
i am feeling a little weepy about the passage of time today.
i think i'll go have a diet coke or something and finish vacuuming my house.
6 comments:
I COMPLETELY understand and i am a total mess most days anymore. Just imagine your babies leaving you for two years and a daughter that thinks she's somewhat ready to embark on life without you there every second to hold her hand! ahh, what could this next year bring? I don't want to know....
I too, am an avid lover of pictures (and I admit...maybe a little obsessive.) But they truly bring me happiness to be able to look back at all the happy (and not so happy) moments in our lives.
I've told my kids to stop growing more than once...they just won't listen :) ....so sad!
Hugs! I know exactly how you feel and even though my kids are a little younger it hit me hard right after Ella was born. I know we have talked about this but I sat there staring at my newborn and my then 7 year old and wondered where the last 7 years had went. I cried about it for a LONG time. I think these moments are good though. I think too often we take for granted how precious and fleeting life is.
Savor every minute it helps to make the time feel as if its moving less quickly... so I think? I miss the little ones however it is so fun to see what they are growing in too, every day it seems to be something new and with 4 it is 4x the daily experience.
OMG! I just started bawling! I have been feeling the same way....with dom being 14, jayden 8 and the "baby" 4. WHY OH WHY did no one tell me it would be like this???? It goes so fast. I hate it! Somedays, I wish I could freeze time. Jason is SO afraid that when the last one leaves home that I will have to be committed. It is SO NOT joking.
BTW...I miss you!
AAAH. Something to focus on this year...enjoying the NOW!...my kids are "moving along" too!
Happy New Year!
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