O.R.E.O.

wouldn't ya know it? all that snow shovelling yesterday made me hungry...

unfortunately, i cannot eat an Oreo. Go figure!

They do unpredictable things to my body and i will spare you the facts, but lets just say, it is better if i DO NOT eat an Oreo.

Grace DID however, take some super cool Oreo pictures, so instead of eating one, i will just stare at the pictures. MUCH healthier that way anyway.

you know you want one now...dontcha?

remember the old Oreo song?

"Oh, Oh, Oh, ice cold milk and an Oreo Cookie., They forever go together...,what a classic combination. When a dark, delicious cookie meets an icy cold sensation, Like the one and only creamy, crunchy, chocolate, O-R-E-O..."

Dear Kyle...

Dear Kyle...

Remember how you always say "the

snow melts in the spring?"

"Why bother shovelling?" "There is no need!"

Well, it is officially

1:18 in the afternoon and

YOUR SIDE of the driveway

still has about 4 to 6 inches of snow

on it...NOT melted mind you.

LOVE your wife,

in sickness and health,

good times and bad,

shovelled driveways and not shovelled driveways,

Dorien

**P.S. Before anyone freaks out, and wonders if we're headed for a divorce since I LOVINGLY, and painstakingly, shovelled ALL the snow from MY SIDE of the driveway to HIS SIDE of the driveway, it is a long standing joke between us about the need to shovel or NOT shovel after a spring snow storm in Utah...and sometimes, just sometimes,

I just HAVE TO say "told ya so!"

Said driveway was NOT shovelled in meanness and spite, in fact i was giggling the whole time...although come to think of it, I am not sure Kyle will be giggling while HE is shovelling....

hmmmmmm............

I still love him! XOXOXO

my date with don johnson....

Remember the "Don Johnson" days? Way back in the "olden days," AKA the 1980's? Don Johnson was burning up the T.V. screen every friday night with Miami Vice (I am pretty sure my parents didn't even let me watch it since they were of the opinion it was "too violent.") But back in the day, Don was a hottie. Not that I exactly thought he was (I was more of a Shawn Cassiday or Donny Osmond girl) but I knew a few boys who DID think he was a hottie. (none of them gay, "not that there's anything wrong with that"--name the show that line comes from!)

He was just kind of the "it" guy for a while. I mean LOOK at that hair, the tan, that peachy-pink tight T-shirt, those white pants and that white blazer. Look at the effortless way he has his blazer flung over his shoulder. The look was just so... just so... just so... 1980's. (heaven HELP US! What were we thinking?)

Well, luckily for me (since I never got to watch or meet the REAL Don Johnson) I got to have my very own date with destiny. (or was it a date with the 1980's?)

Last week Kyle had Spring Break at the "U"--we all thought that meant he would spend some extra "bonus hours" at home with the "fam." No such luck...he had office "big wigs" in town all week and they pretty much had him on a 12 hour a day work schedule. That was the end of any big Spring Break plans for us. All in all it was fine, pretty much "life as usual" at the Nielson abode.

After a gruelling week at work and our Saturday morning house cleaning we decided to head out and do something fun. Unfortunately, 6 minds do not all think a like, and while the girls had donned their swimsuits for a trip to the pool, Josh and I thought we would rather do something else.

Kyle took the girls for a marathon swim (4 hours) and Wendy's lunch while Josh and I headed out on OUR date to the movies. (Somehow I think I lucked out! but that is neither here nor there)

I was waiting in the car when what to my wondering eyes should appear?? An imposter Don Johnson, I tried not to leer.

Yup, there was my 15 year old son, sauntering out of the garage in his $1 Thrift Town halloween pants (now sewn into shorts, by HIM none the less) and a peachy-pink tee. If he wasn't the spitting image of Don Johnson all those years ago, I don't know who is. I surpressed a giggle, that turned into something between a snort and a cough and we were off. I casually asked Josh if he knew who Don Johnson was, and he had no clue.

After a trip through Albertsons and the theater, we came home to google "Don Johnson Miami Vice Years..." Josh was mighty impressed and proudly went out front to skateboard, Don Johnson look and all.

Admit it, you're all jealous! (LOL!!!!)

P.S. We may need to work on his hair and tan and find a matching white blazer that he toss effortlessly over his shoulder.

five

tonight for Family Home Evening we had a lesson about being good friends.
Olivia was in charge. To end the evening, she had us participate in a "coloring contest".
This consisted of coloring "our very best" the "spring" themed pictures she had printed off
the internet. (saturday temperatures were still fresh on her brain).
She annointed herself judge and jury and after the coloring was completed, she went around
labeling each picture with a score ranging from 1 to 100. (which begs the question why NO ONE except josh fell WITHIN that range?? LOL)

Mom: 103
Dad: 103
Grace: 101
Eliza: did not participate --apparently she was a judge.
Oliva: 107




Josh: 5

i guess you win some and you loose some.

on a side note: when asked the question what a good friend should do if they hear someone talking badly about another friend, Lizzie's answer was, "I would tell them to shut up and then smack them."

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, not sure if i want her FOR ME, or against me?????
we may need another lesson to cover language and violent tendancies.

case in point....

Last night Grace and I snuggled in my bed and watched Seinfeld. (I think Kyle and Josh were downstairs snuggling, and watching basketball games). Grace got up, kissed me goodnight and promptly walked right into my bedroom door with a big WHOMP! (yup, RIGHT into door!)
I must add that there was sufficient light from the T.V. AND the hall light, none the less, walk into the door she did.
We both laughed and laughed and laughed, and with a knowing look I said "Ah Grace, this is why I love you so!"

equal "air time" for all the kids...

(this post must be accompanied by a beautiful picture before i proceed...)

GRACE...

(as defined by "dictionary.com")
–noun
1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.

let's just say that while i love MY gracie girl with every fiber of my being, she does not always live up to the defination of her name. call it irony.

case(s) in point...(you may see a pattern here)

*while jogging on the treadmill last week, she slipped OFF and fell. this resulted in a long "treadmill burn" (aka rope or rug burn) all the way up her left arm.

*while jumping on the bed with scissors at 5 (good heavens...WHERE? was the girls mother i might ask!--apparently NOT as omni-present as i SHOULD be! that's where!) she ended up falling and jabbing herself in the eye--and while you could actually see an imprint in her eye from the point of the scissor tip, her eye was perfectly fine. (angels watching over)

*5 was a bad year...she burned her hand on a hot stove testing it see if said stove actually WAS hot. (sure enough!) just a note: she was forewarned many times on this occassion!

*same year....grabbed a carving knife and cut her finger with it (i SWEAR i watch my kids)


so let us just say that we are praying she doesn't ever want to try out for cheerleader. (but certainly we WILL support her should that be her choice)
and while she may not be the most coordinated of all my kids...she is lovely! and smart! and i am quite certain that the "smartness" alone will get her somewhere in this life.

if not, she can always fall back on her looks! (or on to a pair of sharp scissors, or off of a moving treadmill...OR...)

we love you grace!

*edited to add: grace said this post SEVERLY lacks the "raving review" i gave josh. i explained that i love her equally as much, and that in loving her "equally" there are things about her that i adore that are COMPLETELY different than her brother. Grace, while NOT graceful, is quirky and fun and funny and completely HERSELF (which is quite an accomplishment thus far in her 12 yrs. in life). i LOVE that she is an "individual" and does not have to follow what everyone else is doingand being and saying, she is QUITE comfortable in her VERY OWN SKIN...and i LOVE that she falls off the treadmill when running. it makes me laugh, not AT her, but WITH her. since i know her so well...i would expect nothing less from her! On the other hand i would not ever expect josh or eliza or olivia to do that--they have their OWN QUIRKS!

she makes me laugh, she enjoys living, she enjoys falling, she enjoys laughing....
you can rent her too if you want! she would be money well spent as well~
is that better grace? XO, mom

tribute to my "baller"....

People warned me...lots of them! About how hard it would be to have a TEENAGER!

And while i know that there are MORE years ahead, and they could be brutal and ugly and hard (as well as GREAT and enjoyable and fun!)

i LOVE this kid! He makes a mom (and dad) proud!

Oly Jr. High just finished up their basketball season in a blaze of (non) glory! The Bulldogs were defeated on Tuesday afternoon in the Semi-Final match by Bonneville Jr. High in a game for the record books!

Josh played his heart out and even though the final score did not reflect what we hoped it would, the team did a great job!

Josh had a great season, a starter on the team...he played high post, low post and all posts in between. (LOL...i am kidding sports enthusiasts!) He learned a lot, woke up at the 5 a.m. hour for 2 solid months and never complained (perhaps he was too asleep to notice?). He tried his hardest and sometimes it paid off with a win, and sometimes not. A great "life lesson"--that sometimes we WILL fail and the point is NOT in the failure, but in how we continue on with dignity.

Way to go Josh, way to go Bulldogs! It was a BLAST to watch those boys play the game! (notice all my exclamation points in this post!!!!)
And if anyone ever wants to rent a great kid, i know a fabulous one for you to borrow! His name is JOSH~

PERHAPS vampires really prefer plasma?

For those of you that do not know, my husband works in the "plasma" industry....meaning he is a manager for BioMat Plasma downtown. Yup, the place where they stick a needle in your arm, suck out your blood, spin out the plasma and then re-insert the blood back into your body. (which, by the way, is a lucrative "side job" if you're looking---you can donate 2 times a week and the first week you make $80--kyle also gets a $20 "kick back" if you mention that you are a referral from him! hey, it can't hurt to advertise, if we could get 100 of our closest friends to each donate TWICE, we could pay for a summer trip! LOL!)

All kidding aside, his job duties vary and so do his hours as respresented by his 2 a.m. stint this morning. Plasma, is in high demand and apparently very lucrative for the companies that buy and sell it. They have EXTENSIVE screening processes and alarms gaurding the stuff (plasma) 24/7 with ALL the bells and whistles. Should one of the alarms ever go off (even at 2 a.m.), Kyle assures me that included somewhere in his job description it says something about "acting as a policeman and nabbing bad guys as they are breaking into the building".

Me, i am not so sure it says that ANYWHERE in his job description!

NOR does he...

a) make enough money OR have enough life insurance to cover this part of his job description.

b) or have enough training in the martial arts to take down said "bad guy."

Sadly, I have no say.

So last night when the alarm company called at 1:49 a.m. and said the alarms were going off. (meaning a door had been wiggled or broken and someone may, or may not, be entering the building with intent to rob.) He dragged himself up and out into the snow prepared to take out anyone who was robbing his building. He ASSURED me that the alarm company calls the police who then meet him there.

10 minutes after he left, the alarm company called ME back and said (and this is an exact quote), "I have called Salt Lake City dispatch (police) and they (the police) will not go to the building until someone with keys shows up to let them in."

me: "what the *@(&# ????" whatever happened to 911???

I then called kyle (in a panic I might add) to inform him he was on his own, and IF there was truly a problem, then he should call the police and they would come help him out. (truly there is something terribly wrong with this scenario, right?)

Needless to say, i did NOT go back to sleep and all my begging and pleading would not alter his course. So devoted to his plasma he is.

He says he got there, not sure what to expect and of course there were NO POLICE cars there to buoy up his courage (or help take out a bad guy in the event that was necessary).

He drove around the block 3 times peering out the van windows to survey the situation....all appeared "clear." (can i add that BioMat is NOT in the most pleasant part of downtown either? Especially at 2 FREAKING a.m.!) At this point he pulls into the parking lot and gets out of the car (my heart be still!) and starts walking around the building checking all the doors and windows. Since we just had a fresh dusting of snow, he is a little baffled that there is not ONE FOOTPRINT, tire track, or mark in the snow--other than HIS! NOT ONE!

He called me back a few minutes later to assure me that he was alive and well (well, DUH!) and that he couldn't figure out WHO or WHAT had tripped the alarms....

Long story short, he did make it home alive, it took me 3 hours to fall back to sleep and by then it was time to wake Josh up for school.

The only thing we can figure is that something was there that was fast and did not leave a mark. That has to be a vampire, hungry for some fresh plasma, right?

Well, if the vampire looks like Edward, I think I'll go next time and check it out.

note to self: call insurance guy and up Kyle's life insurance. Sign up for martial arts class, just in case!

plasma, ready made vampire food??

EYES in the back of my head

*when olivia was asked by her teacher if her mother had anything she was particularly good at, or if she had any special talents, her reply was "no! but she DOES have eyes in the back of her head and she can always see what we're doing!"

(aside: GASP! i have NO talents?? really? sigh...)

in order to test the "eye" theory, my children often hold up any given number of their digits behind my head and make me guess the correct number....i, of course, have at least a 50% success rate--indeed that does make me "magical" in their eyes --magical enough anyway to "see" what's going on when i am NOT in the room.

someday, when they too become parents, the "magic eyes" will be handed down to them...

until them i am left talentless, special ability-less with "EYES in my head" as my only claim to fame.

pretty cool, huh?

it sure as #&*@ ain't* popcorn...

i looked out the window and WHAT did i see?
certainly NOT popcorn popping on the apricot tree!

well apparently driving is NOT the only to make me

#&*$^*@(@ ....

....SNOW seems to have an equally powerful affect on me as well!

ahhh, the joys of Utah weather. 60 degrees and hurricane force winds one day, 30 and snow the next.

&$*@&*^@

*(authors note: please know that *I KNOW* that "ain't" is NOT proper english...it just seemed to fit the title so much better than "is not"...)

is it just me...?

now i am not sure why i am blogging about this (other than that i just pulled in my
driveway and it was FRESH on my mind, and i was following some *&#%@! person
driving 10 miles an hour all the way home!! ...in a 40 mph zone i might add!)

maybe because i know that the only people that will actually read this
are the ones that already know me? (or that not very many people actually
READ my blog, i do find some comfort in that!)

but, it is "truth"...

and you know what they say about "truth" (something about it "setting you FREEEEEEE...")

why is it when i get in the car and drive, my mouth resorts to words like:

*&#*(@

and

@*(#&$)()

and EVERYONE is a

*@(&@()#!!!

or a

*@(&)!)(***@!

my children reprimand me daily.

yet those words just keep coming out....

PLEASE tell me i am not the only one...

i am certainly not proud of it.

i came from a home where i heard my mother say *&@(&@

one time in my entire life....for REAL!

well, it has been said...not sure i feel anymore FREE, but just in case you are ever
out and about and see me driving --you are FREE to giggle (or reprimand me) as you watch
me go driving by.