the word on the street

If you are squeamish about news of death and dying
you may want to forsake my blog for a while.


(Do you like how I managed to squeeze the word "forsake"
into a blog post?  One must keep up some appearances
of humor and normalcy during times like these.)


The word on the street has gone from bad to worse 
concerning my dad and those knuckles of death that
are knocking on his door.  Apparently death is now
trying to karate chop down the door instead of
opening it slowly and cleverly and sneakily.


Which in and of itself is clever and sneaky.


Visiting medical authorities have changed diagnosis
from "years end" to "end of March."  This is
how quickly he is declining each and every day.


It always takes me a day or two to digest this news
and then I can function again.  Function without a
Kleenex permanently attached to the end of my nose.
Function without wearing a hat and dark glasses.
Ok wait, I wear a hat almost every day--it's 
easier than doing my hair.  Scratch the hat thing.
Function without being lost in the fog of 
sadness that envelopes my mind.


One must function when one has 4 children to care
for.  Although we sure have been eating a lot of
waffles for dinner lately. (Thanks Kyle).


In speaking with my mother today, she said she 
has been writing things down. I too, must do
the same.  Write things down.


I know some people believe that God is 
the root cause, the instigator, the orchestrator
of all the events in our lives.  I personally 
believe differently.  I believe that God is there
to help us, to guide us, and to hold our hands
when the going gets tough.  He is NOT the cause
of "bad things" that happen, but rather the Father
that is there to help us through this 
mortal journey called life when the bad stuff
happens.  To me, for me, that is a big difference.


My "soon to be ubber famous" friend Brodi Ashton 
(brodiashton.blogspot.com) blogged today about
her father and his fight against cancer.  She
blogged that she doesn't believe that "all things
happen for a reason".  


Some things just happen.  They just happen.
Not because we are bad.  Or someone is trying
to teach us a lesson. Or for any reason at all.
They just happen.


I whole heartedly agree with her.  


Life happens.  And then with God's hand in ours
we can carry on.  Or rather with OUR hand in 
God's hand, we can carry on.


HOPEFULLY we learn from the things that happen.
HOPEFULLY we grow from our experiences, both
good and bad, in this life.
HOPEFULLY we take something from them and make
ourselves better people.


BUT I do not believe that God is sitting up there 
with his magic wand looking over his children
saying "OHHHH!!!  She's being extra naughty this
year, let's see what kind of trial I can give 
HER to help her grow."  Nope.  I don't think 
it works that way.  Does it make me right? 
Or wrong?  I don't even know really.  
I'm not sure I care.  Someday I will hopefully
get the answers.


I prefer to think, rather, that God is sitting up
there watching over us.  Watching as our choices, and
the choices of others, and well, just life, swirls
all around us--sometimes creating the "perfect 
storm".


Then when He sees something bad happen, 
He reaches out for us and hopes we will grab 
Him back and hang on for dear life.


Sometimes we need to....
...hang on for dear life that is.


He just wants to help us through.


To cry with us.


To buoy us up.


Cuz sometimes, the word on the street is bad.


And we need someone to help us through.


And that someone is Him.