Thursday, September 2, 2010

have i ever mentioned....



....that i am MORTALLY terrified of mice?

no really i am.

like pee in my pants, cower in a corner terrified of them.

well, last night i faced my fear head on and i am sad to say, the fear won.

josh received an "answer to homecoming". asking and answering is
done in creative and wonderful ways these days.

he asked with a cake. a nice, pretty, simple, actually edible cake that i spent 4 hours baking and assembling. wait, maybe *I* asked someone to homecoming?

well, if that is the case, whitney and i should have a fun, albeit interesting, time
at homecoming together. josh's mom and josh's girlfriend together on a "date". awkward.

last night our doorbell rang and in my pj's i answered it. his "answer" had arrived.

to my SHOCK and utter horror on the doorstep were two rodents of the mouse variety in a box, complete with FOOD and bedding and a poster that said "it would be 'mice' to go to homecoming with you! yes."

i stepped back, shut my door and reopened it again, praying they would be gone. obviously
the good lord does not answer prayers about mice on doorsteps.
the d*mn things were still there.
alive.
and well.

did whitney actually leave live MICE on my front steps?
two, breathing, nibbling, scurrying mice?
what had i done to offend her? i racked my brain. NOTHING!
i could not come up with a single thing.

everyone else quickly ran to see what the "answer" was
(it could also have been they wanted to see why i was loudly
uttering profanities at 10 o'clock at night.)
they then scooped up the little guys --adoringly cooing and petting them.
my children were petting mice. now i knew for certain they had been
switched at birth. i was giving them back ASAP! (the kids AND the mice!)

i quickly ran to the farthest corner of my living room and shut my
eyes and starting sobbing.

i shouted things like "get those things the*(&^( out of my house!"
"you are grounded until you're a senior if they're not gone in 4 seconds!"
"PLEASE for the love of ALL THINGS HOLY REMOVE THEM NOW!!!"

even though i am pretty sure i was yelling (at the top of my lungs i might add),
no one was listening to me.
no one.
imagine that.

i think they were too busy naming the mice "Stewart" and "Little" to pay my
"snivelling, cowering mess in the corner" any attention. i was too busy
naming them "Some Cats Next Dinner".
no one cared.

did i mention i am TERRIFIED of mice?

did i mention they scare me?

after being laughed at, mocked, and made fun of, i went to my bedroom to console myself.
"it's OK if you hate mice" "lots of people do" "they are very scary"
"i still love you even if no one else does" (sometimes it's good to have a friend around--
even if it's only yourself.)

the mice spent the night in the garage after threats of death. unfortunately,
(er-it's a good thing!) they are still alive and well this morning.

2 mice for sale--any old home will do!

**pictures ADDED.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

One of my girls got asked to a Christmas dance with a mouse one year - "Not a creature was stirring except one little mouse ... look at belly to see who is asking you." (He had written his name in marker on that little belly.)

A week later, that cute little mouse had babies ... and then they had babies. If you hate mice - HURRY and get rid of them before your kids talk you into a big fancy mouse house!!!!

nielsons*love*family said...

oh my! that does not make me feel any better...i think my husband will be "releasing" them back into the wild...

...but very far away from my house.